Am I finally ready?

Why is it that we are so prone to neglect everything we should be doing? It's like we see a pile of homework to do, but that's about the time "ice cream" floats up form our subconscious and forces us in the car and on our way to Dairy Queen. And the worst part about all of this is that this isn't a problem because of silly things like my aforementioned example. It's a problem because we do that with the important things, too. You know, we know we're supposed to pray, but instead we turn on the tv and watch meaningless drama. We need to change our major to one thing, but instead we go the way entirely opposite of that. What is this? Why do we know what we should do and just....not do it?

Of course, this isn't an original idea. In the Bible, Paul talks about this very same thing. I wish I knew the exact scripture reference, but I do not. (Romans? Chapter 8? Maybe?) His words summarize this very problem, the gist of which being that we do what we know we shouldn't and neglect what we ought to do. It's a part of our human nature. None of us is immune to our humanity, which is a lesson I keep having to learn.

I got home from Christmas break less than a week ago, and along with my pile of books and bags, I brought a mental to-do list of all the things I wanted to accomplish during my 3 week Christmas break. I think of this to-do list often. It usually comes to mind when I'm waiting for my tenth straight episode of Grey's Anatomy to buffer, or when I'm trying to ignore the books I got from the library, knowing that I should just suck it up and sit down to read them. But I just run away. I toss that mental to-do list into the air and think, Oh dear. Looks like the wind caught it...I don't even try to justify my lazy and rebellious spirit. I just lie about it being a problem. And that is a problem!

All I know is that I'm tired of wanting to do all these things, but always giving in before the fighting actually begins. I mean, I'm in college now. Isn't it time to suck it up and make some sacrifices? It's time to grow up, and maybe that means strapping that mental to-do list to my forehead and keeping in step with it time and again. I think I'm ready. Here goes nothing.

Now...where are those library books?